Posts tagged Texas
Prima Facie (On Its Face)

Last night I had a dream I was at a fancy dinner reception and found myself seated next to Ted Danson. He was charming and flirting with me. I flirted back, aware of the significant age discrepancy but enjoying the moment of holding the attention of, well, Ted Danson. While we were flirting, he made a comment about my body; he said, “You look like a Jew but have the tits of a Catholic.” I was both slightly unnerved at the objectification yet still relishing in the captive attention of my audience.

I suppose this is the plight of many women: a slight unease as being objectified yet also a sense of accomplishment in even being the specific object of a particular man’s desire.

As the dream unfolded, it was revealed that we were not just at an elite reception but also an elite sporting event. Tennis, I believe. During the competition, one of the competitors was injured, and the opponent and his fans cheered on at the misfortune of the Other. I turned towards one of the judges who was standing and shouting, “This sort of behavior is unacceptable, not allowed and will be punished if it continues!”

A judge. Admonishing those who revel in the misfortune of others. This behavior will not be sustained, and will, in fact, have consequences.

When I found Ted, he had a drink for me, but his appearance began to evolve. We were still flirting, and when I took a sip of my champagne, I spit it out upon realizing the champagne was actually dish soap - what had once appeared to be a glass of bubbling champagne was now a flute of blue Dawn dish soap. He had played a joke on me. I laughed it off, despite the joke at my expense. I was not in on the joke. But still, it was Ted Danson! Though now his appearance was evolving before my eyes. His sharp grey hair turned curly and red. But still, it was Ted Danson!

Later that evening, he took me back to his home, where he lived with his mother. He was no longer aged with experience, but had become a young man living with his mother...but still...he was Ted Danson? He offered me another drink and knowing full-well yet living in denial, I took a sip. Dish Soap. I was enraged. I called him the Devil. His mother also came out and admonished him, saying “Why do you do these things?” “If you keep doing these things, you will never find love!”

A mother. Admonishing her son who reveled in the misfortune of others. This behavior will not be sustained, and will, in fact, have consequences.

⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹

Earlier in the night I had a dream I was at a bar. When I sat at the bar, a man began talking to me. Aware of his intent, I immediately replied, “I have a boyfriend.”

“Can I buy you a drink anyway?” he asked.

“Well, yeah okay.”

The bartender looked at me with side-eyes as if signaling I ought to be cautious, as if knowing the future.

“What?” I said. “It’s a free drink. He knows I have a boyfriend. I’m not going to turn down a free drink.”

The bartender then offered me two large jars filled with syrup. One was orange; the other, yellow.

I tried them both, and they tasted the same. I was merely deciding between the colors.

⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹

Appearances are never a full encapsulation of what lies beneath the surface. Beware of appearances. Appearances both deceive and speak deeper truths. Things are often more than they appear to be, and in fact, Reality, itself, is always more than it appears to be. Beware. Be aware.

Blessed be,
☄︎ Amanda ⚖︎
HTX Oracle

☾Your Emotions are Valid ❤︎

Greetings, friends!

Today is the day of Luna, and as the moon is trining Venus in Capricorn, we can find new faith and beauty in our work and love life. Furthermore, Mercury is in Pisces, which is a time to reflect on communication in an imaginative or artistic way.

In light of this particular flavor, I’ve pulled a few Tarot cards on which to reflect.

The first card I pulled was the Three of Swords, which was upright. This card represents a possible emotional loss. Perhaps you are feeling sad at a loss of a dream, relationship or some goal you set out to accomplish did not turn out the way you had planned. Allow yourself to express this sadness. Crying or talking to a loved one is a way to cleanse the soul & emerge anew.

I asked the Tarot for any further insights, and the second card revealed was the Nine of Swords, which was reversed. This card represents negative thoughts and possibly fear. This reinforces to me, that perhaps some of you are feeling a deep sense of loss and are lost in negative thoughts about what has gone wrong in the past. Perhaps you are allowing past negative experiences to cloud your perception of the future, and you are stuck in fear. Allow yourself to remember that there are multiple ways to perceive a situation, and that the past is a memory, a movie you are replaying. Allow yourself to turn off the movie. The past is not real and does not define the future. Every loss is an opportunity for new awakening and possibilities. Allow yourself to release self-limiting beliefs and have faith that the Universe is on your side.

In light of these two cards, and with the particular planetary alignments of today, perhaps a way to push through your grief is through artistic expression. Allow yourself to delve into the Imaginal realm and find the beauty within. Perhaps allow yourself to draw a mandala in your favorite colors. Find beauty and healing by allowing your emotions to rise to the surface.

The final card I drew was the Two of Pentacles, which was upright. Perhaps you find yourself having to balance the physical demands of your job and your emotions, which you push down under the surface. Keep in mind the big picture. Material security has its value, but connection with your inner self is where true happiness is found. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. If we get caught up too much in the physical demands of our labor, we lose connection with ourselves. 

The moon is exalted today in Taurus; have confidence in the emotions you have been denying. Feel grounded and firm that your feelings are valid. Express them creativity, and you will find beauty, grace and ease as you move forward, feeling more deeply connected to yourself and the Universe. 

Blessed be!
☆ Amanda ★
HTX Oracle

S01 E05 - Regular Dude Report
Amanda Holstien A Thousand Serious Moves Podcast.jpg

Namaste, bitches! Welcome back to A Thousand Serious Moves with Amanda Holstien! On this week's episode I have a conversation with two of my oldest friends, Brad Gray and Jake Rawls. Brad and Jake are hosts of the Regular Dude Report podcast (subscribe on iTunes!). As kids, the three of us went to First Baptist Church Deer Park, TX together, and on this episode we talk about our past and current spiritual pursuits. And drink Four Roses. 

I also give a brief reflection on the story of the birth of Jesus and the possibility of redemption. Enjoy!

What If

"What If" by Shel Silverstein

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
And sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pol?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatifs strike again!