Posts tagged Amanda Holstien
Prima Facie (On Its Face)

Last night I had a dream I was at a fancy dinner reception and found myself seated next to Ted Danson. He was charming and flirting with me. I flirted back, aware of the significant age discrepancy but enjoying the moment of holding the attention of, well, Ted Danson. While we were flirting, he made a comment about my body; he said, “You look like a Jew but have the tits of a Catholic.” I was both slightly unnerved at the objectification yet still relishing in the captive attention of my audience.

I suppose this is the plight of many women: a slight unease as being objectified yet also a sense of accomplishment in even being the specific object of a particular man’s desire.

As the dream unfolded, it was revealed that we were not just at an elite reception but also an elite sporting event. Tennis, I believe. During the competition, one of the competitors was injured, and the opponent and his fans cheered on at the misfortune of the Other. I turned towards one of the judges who was standing and shouting, “This sort of behavior is unacceptable, not allowed and will be punished if it continues!”

A judge. Admonishing those who revel in the misfortune of others. This behavior will not be sustained, and will, in fact, have consequences.

When I found Ted, he had a drink for me, but his appearance began to evolve. We were still flirting, and when I took a sip of my champagne, I spit it out upon realizing the champagne was actually dish soap - what had once appeared to be a glass of bubbling champagne was now a flute of blue Dawn dish soap. He had played a joke on me. I laughed it off, despite the joke at my expense. I was not in on the joke. But still, it was Ted Danson! Though now his appearance was evolving before my eyes. His sharp grey hair turned curly and red. But still, it was Ted Danson!

Later that evening, he took me back to his home, where he lived with his mother. He was no longer aged with experience, but had become a young man living with his mother...but still...he was Ted Danson? He offered me another drink and knowing full-well yet living in denial, I took a sip. Dish Soap. I was enraged. I called him the Devil. His mother also came out and admonished him, saying “Why do you do these things?” “If you keep doing these things, you will never find love!”

A mother. Admonishing her son who reveled in the misfortune of others. This behavior will not be sustained, and will, in fact, have consequences.

⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹

Earlier in the night I had a dream I was at a bar. When I sat at the bar, a man began talking to me. Aware of his intent, I immediately replied, “I have a boyfriend.”

“Can I buy you a drink anyway?” he asked.

“Well, yeah okay.”

The bartender looked at me with side-eyes as if signaling I ought to be cautious, as if knowing the future.

“What?” I said. “It’s a free drink. He knows I have a boyfriend. I’m not going to turn down a free drink.”

The bartender then offered me two large jars filled with syrup. One was orange; the other, yellow.

I tried them both, and they tasted the same. I was merely deciding between the colors.

⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤶ ⤹ ⤷ ⤵︎ ⤴︎ ⤹

Appearances are never a full encapsulation of what lies beneath the surface. Beware of appearances. Appearances both deceive and speak deeper truths. Things are often more than they appear to be, and in fact, Reality, itself, is always more than it appears to be. Beware. Be aware.

Blessed be,
☄︎ Amanda ⚖︎
HTX Oracle

Gestation - A Journal Entry

Be exalted O God above the nations;
Be exalted above the heavens
above the moon and the stars
which You have ordained:
Be Glorified above all.
When I consider the work of Your hands
who am I
that You are
mindful of me?
I search
day and night
and my troubles are always before me
for I am torn
two worlds:
the Celestial
and Chthonic
for my house
in Gemini.
Have mercy upon me, O God
and teach me Your ways
that I might know Your Truth.
For even now,
my soul is among the lions;
I lie among the sons of men.
But you, O Lord
have Ordained Strength
because of Your lovingkindness.
Reach down Your hand upon me
and still my mind
as you still the waves of the seas.
Clear a path for me
and guide me with Your eye
that I might know your ways
and walk upright in righteousness.
Teach me your ways, O God
that I might praise You.
Grant unto me
Your Holy Wisdom
that I might glorify You.
Praise the Lord among the nations
Praise Him all you His hosts:
Let everything
that has breath
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord.

↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲ ↺ ⟲

I am gestating.

In the Spring, I will begin a 6 month journey into a Holy Rite, about which I’m still unsure how much I should share. The Journey includes 6 months of rigorous prayers, recitations, fasting and seclusion from society.

I am currently and already in the process of preparing for the Rite, and I have found myself twiddling my thumbs, unsure of where to focus my energy in the meantime. I seek Truth but have lately found myself spinning in circles, waiting for Passover to come.

The Full Moon is tomorrow, after which most of my Magic will cease until the New Moon, but even then, Mercury will be in retrograde until the end of March, which puts further restrictions on my Magical practice. Presumably, after I finish the 6 month Rite, I will no longer be obligated to planetary correspondences, but in the meantime, I’m trying to follow everything by the book (by the book I mean, the protocols of Solomonic Magic).

I suppose I’m really just writing this entry for myself as I try and process how to proceed before April 20, though perhaps the abstracted concepts of waiting and gestation will resonate with you, Dear Reader, as well.

On a surface-conscious-level, I want everything to happen over night though I know deep within that mastery takes time and struggle. Sometimes, the very thought of knowing my Initiation will not happen over night brings me into a state of paralysis, where I just want to reach for my phone and give up any agency I currently have.

Pray for me, Reader that I might have mental clarity and focus in the days leading up to the Rite, and I too will pray for you that you also might find mental clarity and focus as you strive towards your goals.

Let us not throw up our hands & give up our agency,
for at the center of the spinning wheel
resides a stable spoke.

↺ Amanda ⟲
HTX Oracle

S03 E03 - Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello Friends!

Happy Thanksgiving! On this episode, I give y’all some updates & further explore secrets told on Episode 3 of Season 3. Tune in!

If you’re interested in reaching out to me for spiritual guidance, please email at:

Also, upcoming Houston shows:
11/22 - Thanksgiving @ The Secret Group, 8pm
11/23 - Lady Bits @ The Secret Group, 9:30pm
& Every Saturday for Speedball Comedy @ The Secret Group, 11:30pm

I’ll be selling art for the Friends of the Satanic Temple benefit for The Montrose Center on Sunday, Dec 2nd from 4pm-10pm. Come buy some art & support a good cause (hail satan!)

Pussy, Money, Weed, Enlightenment,
Amanda Holstien
twitter/instagram: @therapistjokes

S03 E02 - Grady Pruitt

Welcome back, fellow travelers!

Season 3 of A Thousand Serious Moves is starting out with a bang (I guess we know how it’ll end- cue whimper)!

You’re in for a very special secret treat on today’s episode. It’s so secret, all I can tell you is I can’t tell you. It’s such a fucking secret. Better to start listening now!

Pussy, Money, Weed, Enlightenment,
<3 Amanda Holstien
twitter/instagram: @therapistjokes