Stormy Weather


Day 2 of my trip, and I am in Mississippi. Every time I’m in Mississippi, something weird happens. Accordingly, I find myself a little on edge tonight. Afraid of the dark, the unknown, that which presumably hides just beyond the beam of light.


My past experiences inform my current interpretation of reality, and my interpretation of Mississippi is: shit gets weird. Look out.

I know I am safe in my cabin, so I lock myself in with a clear view of the door. Fear is funny that way, the way it dictates our behaviors and assumptions.

The reality that exists outside of my fears is: there are infinite circumstances out of my control. Worrying beyond a certain level of precaution becomes irrational, a spiraling cloud gathering all other thoughts into its vortex.

I know, rationally, there is a reality apart from the cloud of fear. Many meditation teachers call this reality, the blue sky. Our thoughts are like clouds that come, go, change over time and dissipate. We need not take our thoughts so seriously, but rather, remember the blue sky, remember a reality that exists outside of our limiting interpretations of reality.

Even if our interpretation of reality is rooted in some realness: my past experiences in Mississippi have been weird as fuck, so my survival brain reacts accordingly: protect, be aware. But I must also remember the blue sky.

I could spend my whole life living in fear, caught up in clouds that seem real, but these cloud-like thoughts are just that: coming, going, changing over time and eventually, dissipate.

I know I am safe tonight, and I’m sure I will sleep well, but there’s a lesson in the experience: our current interpretation of reality may be based on past experiences. My anxiety comes from my past weird experiences in Mississippi, and this feeling is natural, an animalistic instinct for self-preservation. However, if I were to live my whole life in fear based on two or three strange encounters, then I am just limiting myself. There exists an Infinite, big beautiful blue sky, and if I get too focused on the clouds (fear, anxiety, the need for self-preservation), then I miss out on the greatness of the present moment, and only there can one find true peace.

Good night, lovers.